‘Running for the try line, tackled by the bottle’
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Loading...‘Running for the try line, tackled by the bottle’
Stuart was brought up in a loving, supportive family, his parents were married and all his needs were provided for. He went to a private school and had a sound academic career, he was popular amongst his peers and excelled in all sporting activities.
Stuart was an easy going child and seldom got into trouble. He was friendly to others and fitted in socially. He had a good relationship with his parents, but had a difficult relationship with his sister. His sister had learning problems and was in conflict with her parents constantly. She needed extra lessons, therapy and was an angry child. The anger was displaced onto her brother and mother and often turned violent. Being a gentle child, Stuart became very anxious and avoided conflict at all costs. With the ongoing conflict at home he did everything possible to achieve at school so to minimize conflict in the home. He tried his best to reduce negative attention and was compliant at school and at home.
In his matric year he was made a prefect and house captain. He achieved sports colours in swimming, rugby, tennis, debating and provincial colours for rugby. He matriculated and went to Stellenbosch University on a rugby scholarship.
At University he found the ‘taste’ of freedom and lack of responsibility exciting! He discovered alcohol and the feeling of being carefree. He felt like he had been released from a life of rules and expectations.
He was chosen for the Universities as well as the Western Province Under 20’s rugby sides.
Alcohol got in the way of his development. He discovered that alcohol could ‘medicate’ the anxiety that he still felt from his childhood. It lessened the feeling of always wanting to be accepted and having to please others. He also discovered that when he had his first drink he wanted more and more and would get very drunk more often than not. When he had a “big night” he started to experience “black outs” (not being able to recall parts of the evening). He also realised that it was easier to not drink at all if he couldn’t “let his hair down”.
The coach of the rugby team had suggested to the players that if they were to drink, they were to save it until after the game on a Saturday, and to avoid alcohol during the week. Not wanting to be told what to do anymore and enjoying the new found freedom, he decided that the Wednesday night “Klein Saterdag” would still be on his agenda. His performance and body condition deteriorated. His nutrition was neglected due to suffering from hangovers and choosing the mantra of “eating is cheating”.
Obtaining his degree became a long drawn out process and he never went on to achieve his senior provincial colours. Partying was his priority and became his most important focus and in the end his biggest enemy.
Alcohol medicates anxiety, it initially works by eliminating uncomfortable, uneasy and an agitated state of mind. Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant so it helps take the “edge” off and shift emotions, all substances do that.
Too much alcohol can cause a disruption in ones sleep pattern as you enter a substance induced sleep one wakes up in the early hours experiencing an elevated heart rate and the anxiety returns. You lie awake wondering what you did or said the night before and you also worry about what you have to do going forward. You eventually fall asleep and wake up the next morning with a feeling of depression, lack of motivation, fatigue and increased anxiety. So the very emotion that you are trying to medicate, suppress or eliminate is elevated and depression is a common state of mind that follows.
Addiction is a progressive process that interrupts the journey of life. Addiction is a pathological relationship with a substance and can affect anyone at any age. There is help available to stop this process. I encourage everyone to develop a balanced lifestyle so that you have a pool of resources to select from to help coping with life and it’s challenges. Don’t allow a substance to tackle you on your way to the try line.
If you are needing assistance and guidance please contact me on upupandaway@telkomsa.net, visit our website on upupandaway.co.za or phone me on 082 657 2298.
[By Jo Clarence, Registered Counselor]
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